This is Not a Blog

I just want to say up front that this is not a blog. I don’t pretend that I will post regularly, or even often. This page exists only as a place for me to vent about things that annoy me, or post things that will help promote my books. So if you’ve read this far, thanks for hanging out on my page!

My Top Action Movie Pet Peeves (most are gun-related):

1. I hate when the audio guys add the sound of a gun being racked (or cocked) every time a gun is just pointed at someone. Sometimes you can even see that the actor is only pointing the gun – you can actually see up close that there is nothing that could possibly make that sound… and yet there’s that sound. CLICK. … duh.

2. I hate when characters in the story wait until a really quiet moment to cock the gun. Really? That’s the moment you want to cock the gun, when you’re hiding behind something hoping they don’t see you or find out you’re there? Ohhhh… kaaay….

3. I hate that writers think you can hide behind a couch and bullets can’t get you there. Really? Bullets can’t go through a comfy couch? Good to know.

4. I hate that writers think (or at least think we’re stupid enough to believe) that as long as you keep moving, the bullets from automatic weapons can’t catch up to you. ‘Cause you know, it takes a long time for a bad guy to move the gun across your path. Never mind that the angle is only a few degrees from his vantage point, he just can’t move that machine gun fast enough and he just keeps shooting right behind you as you run. Must be frustrating to be a bad guy with a machine gun.

5. I hate when there’s a gun fight, and then all of a sudden the guns are gone and the characters resort to hand-to-hand combat. Where did the guns go? Did everyone run out of bullets? Or did some writer way, We should really add some karate!

6. Speaking of hand-to-hand combat, I hate when everyone in the fight is a white guy (or at least non-Asian), and then at some point out of nowhere there’s this Asian guy who comes in and obviously knows martial arts really well (but not well enough to defeat the hero). I hate that, and while I’m not Asian, I imagine Asian people hate that, too. What, like all Asians know kung fu better than all white bad guys, but not better than any one white good guy? I’m a white guy (Romano-Celtic, to be exact) and I know martial arts better than most bad guys and some good guys, but not better than some bad guys or most good guys.

7. This is really an add-on to number 5, but I needed it to make a list of 10. Anyway, I hate when the good guy fires off only a couple rounds (no way enough to empty the magazine), and then he has to resort to martial arts because he apparently ran out of bullets. Did the firing of the rest of the bullets end up on on the editing room floor? (I know, that expression makes no sense now with digital editing, but you get the idea.) Or did the hero of the story really only put a few rounds in that magazine – like he or she was thinking, Hey I’ll only need a couple of bullets in my next gun fight… no need to fill up the mag…?

8. I hate when they call the magazine a “clip.” It hasn’t been called that since like, World War I, when it actually clipped onto the rifle. It’s a magazine. Don’t call it a clip.

9. I hate when people put their finger on the trigger long before they intend to shoot. I’ve even seen scenes where a person points a gun at a partner, to make a point (which is really stupid anyway), and he has his finger on the trigger. They should take away that guy’s FOID card (yes, I live in Illinois). And I hate when people run while shooting, or run with their finger on the trigger. Again, this is a bad idea, as anyone with training knows.

10. This one goes with number 9, but as I said, I’m trying to get to 10 here. I hate when people wave a gun around like it’s an extension of their hand, and you can just talk with your hands while you’re holding a gun. Anyone who has any training with (or any respect for) guns would never do that. It’s just stupid.

So action writers & directors, take note. If you want your action scenes to be believable to those of us in the bad-ass community, please don’t make these mistakes. Thanks for reading! – Carlo Kennedy (Irish-Italian-American Author, and author of Time Signature).

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